SOOOO…. I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT!

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Yep, you know how the song goes, so if you haven’t already, sing along and sing it strong!!! Then pause and ask yourself if you really, really can say what YOU really want?

YOU – yes YOU!

Now, I don’t know if you do or don’t know what you want, but I do know that it’s not uncommon for coaching clients to discover that what they originally thought they wanted, may not have been their own personal dream, rather a goal that had been given to them by another.

Equally as common is the challenge faced by clients when they reach a point in life where they’ve achieved everything they thought would make them happy, but are not feeling half as fulfilled as they thought they would, indeed they may even be feeling a little empty.

It’s interesting to observe how these challenges appear to stem from the same place. So many of us have been conditioned to believe from an early age that there are fairly generic things that the majority of us in the Western World should want to Be/Do/Have.

We’re exposed to the influence of family (both nuclear and extended), who may have specific opinions they wish to impart to us about who we should be and what we should do. In addition to the conditioning we automatically receive in the home, we simultaneously absorb messages from the education system, religion, marketeers, our community and peers. Throughout our life we receive all sorts of messages and rules around relationships, education, what career we should have etc.

The majority of us have been educated within a system which teaches us that we must sit still and work diligently for some 6 hours a day between designated times. Those of us older than 36 are likely to have absorbed, on some level, the rule that we should work for a minimum of 8 hours a day, with the core hours being 9 – 5. Many of us will also have been told who we should or shouldn’t have relationships with and what they should look like if we are to be accepted and achieve ‘success’. Of course, messaging and rules can be useful and arguably we need shared rules and standards to create a sense of stability and cohesion.

These messages can have a hugely powerful effect on our individual belief system and what path we ended up embarking on in life. Conditioning, and the beliefs that are shaped from it can be a huge help for some and a huge hindrance for others. For some, the conditioning they received may have led to the cultivation of beliefs that gave them resilience and the self belief to go after what they desired. For others they may have been much more of a hindrance that left them feeling less than capable, or indeed worthy of the right to choose a life that felt fitting for them.

So what do you do when you begin to sense that the life you’ve created to date isn’t giving you the sense of fulfillment and satisfaction that you were sure it would? Well, if you’ve carried on reading this far then it would suggest that you’re certainly aware that something is ‘off’, it might even suggest that you’re a little bit curious about what could be and that’s where things get interesting!

Of course, you may already be well aware that the first step towards change is awareness, once you have that, then you’re ready to move onto phase 2 of redesigning a life that aligns to your desires and values by getting practical and writing your fresh new Be/Do/Have list.

Get comfy, get curious, commit to yourself and create the space and time to put pen to paper and start getting reacquainted with what YOU really, really want. If you’re struggling to know what you want then watch this space for future posts incorporating ideas for tuning in to what makes you tick!