AN ODE TO MY AUNTIES

With lots more talk about midlife and peri/menopause being highlighted at the moment, it got me thinking about my ‘aunties,’ a range of females who weren’t related to me by blood but were my Mum’s friends and her self created female support network.

They were iconic!

Original fabulous females who were determined to make the most of their midlife and consequently left me with a lasting memory of how it can be done, so I’m sharing them with you in the hope that they inspire more people too.

Many of the women I observed when growing up were in what would now be considered a more ‘traditional role’. Some did a little work outside of the home, a part time role perhaps, mainly they worked keeping their houses, doing all of the food prep and looking after us tearaways; watching our plays, smelling our homemade rose petal perfume and encouraging our entrepreneurial efforts to raise cash through regular sales at the end of our drives on a pasting table.

Then we all grew up, or at least got to an age where we could fend for ourselves and as we took our first steps into the big wide world so did they in a way.

From the chats that I caught little nuggets of, many of them had been waiting for this time in their lives, ‘when their kids had grown up,’ to fulfill some long held dreams of their own.

What a gift it was to witness too!

I saw them embark upon a quest to secure greater financial independence as some went back to study and found careers in social work and occupational health. For some it was a time when they found freedom from marriages that hadn’t been working for them and they took the decision to divorce and put themselves out there on the dating scene.

Whilst many had dabbled in a spot of line dancing and pop mobility when I was younger, it now appeared that their interests were growing as they discovered or rediscovered new hobbies that had lay dormant – tap dancing, film, solo holidays and reiki to name a few.

Reiki was a particular delight – one mention of a sore muscle and a pair of healing hands would appear, any opportunity was taken to share their new found powers!

Of course I was lucky to also become aware of the conversations that some of my more open aunties were having about their visits to the doctor and the changes they were experiencing with their bodies.

Make no mistake they weren’t all always feeling great and the sleepless nights, sore joints, mood swings AKA symptoms of peri/menopause affected them and there was much talk about HRT and evening primrose capsules.

Which brings me to today.

I figure I’m now nearing the age that they were and I’m full of gratitude for the gift they gave me. The biggest thing that jumps out at me is that they showed me that yes the middle years can be tricky. They can also be a reboot, a time to try new things.

I witnessed the rebirth, the work, the strength, the sense of adventure, the excitement at reinventing themselves and as they say ‘you can’t be what you can’t see’ – I know that I’m lucky to have had role models.

Who knows whether they would have made as many changes if they wouldn’t have had each other, it’s heart warming to remember them sharing their challenges and their joys; from young Mums to the passing of my Mum in midlife – they were there for that too.

So what’s the message?

By sharing our struggles and triumphs and supporting each other, maybe we can light the way for some of our younger women too and go out there and show them how to do it with a little compassion and some straight talking real talk to boot!

May the stories of ‘ordinary’ women inspire you too.